*UNEDITED*
(NOTE: Contains explicit language and adult themes suitable for ages 16+)
© K.L. Hall and www.authorklhall.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to K.L. Hall and www.authorklhall.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Aston “Blaze” Calloway
I held Angel in my arms as I rested against the hood of my car, watching the planes land and takeoff as we waited for Camille. We’d been doing our thing for a few months, and it was the best a nigga felt in a long time. Although there were days I felt like giving up and going back to my old ways, I took one look at Angel and knew that she was more important than anything else in the world to me. The money, the bitches, jewelry or cars didn’t mean shit to me.
“There she is, baby girl,” I said as I pointed to Camille.
She was walking out of the airport with two large suitcases, a purse and a carry-on in tow.
I walked over to her and she threw her arms around Angel and me as I kissed her forehead. Angel studied Camille’s face with bright, curious eyes, then a smile creased her face. She started jumping and wriggling out of my arms, so she could get to her.
“Hi, pretty girl,” she smiled as she kissed the top of Angel’s head. “I missed you.”
“Ma-ma,” she cooed.
I swallowed hard as my eyes darted up to Camille’s. Angel had never said that word before, only da-da or other two syllable words. I knew she was used to seeing Camille just as often as she saw Raquel or her twin cousins, but out of all the words she said at almost 16 months old, ma-ma was never one of them.
“Wow…”
“Wow is right,” Camille replied as she raked her fingers through her hair and then tucked a lock behind her left ear.
“I don’t know what to say. She’s never said that shit before, like, ever.”
“Yeah, this is definitely my first time hearing it, too.”
“Uh, let me grab your bags. Can you put her back in her car seat?”
“Yeah, I got her,” she nodded.
I popped the trunk and put Camille’s bags inside while she put Angel back inside the car. I didn’t want her to feel awkward because of what Angel had said, especially with her move being permanent. I hopped back in the driver’s seat and pressed the button to start the engine. As soon as my seat belt clicked into the lock, my foot hit the gas and we sped off. After we hit the interstate, I glanced over at her from the corner of my eye.
“Did that shit make you feel weird?”
“No, not really. Why? Did it make you feel weird?” she asked.
“I ain’t gon’ lie, it did a little, but you know, that’s just because of how everything went down with her mother and everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, you know, Heaven ain’t never get a chance to hear her say that. Now I feel like she wouldn’t know who she was even if I showed her a picture of her because she was so young when everything went down. That’s the most fucked up thing about it.”
“I get it,” she nodded.
“Yeah, but that’s all.”
I glanced back at Angel through the rearview mirror. She was sitting quietly in her car seat squeezing her toy and watching the scenery whizz by outside of the window.
“Did you even give yourself the chance to grieve her death, Blaze?” she quizzed.
I sat back and focused my attention on the road as I thought about my answer. Truth was, I hadn’t. Everything between Heaven and I had happened so fast from start to finish. One minute she was there, the next, she was being carried away in a fuckin’ body bag all because of a nigga who couldn’t let go. I was still sick over that shit at times, but I had no time to be sad. I had our daughter to raise.
“No,” I admitted.
“Why not?”
I shrugged lazily.
“To be honest, I don’t know how. If you didn’t notice, feeling weak is not one of my favorite emotions. There’s no room for that shit in my world. Why cry over shit you can’t change, you know? I’ve had a lot of people close to me die before their time, and I’ve never mourned anyone’s death. Not my father’s, not Wolfe’s and not Heaven’s either.”
“Are you going to tell Angel what happened to her mother when she’s old enough to handle it?”
“I don’t know. I ask myself that all the time. Is there ever a good time to tell someone something like that?”
“I think she deserves to know, no matter how hard it is. You can’t keep that from her.”
“I’m not keeping it from her, I’m protecting her.”
The moment those words fell off my tongue, I thought about my mother. She had hidden the biggest family secret of all from my brother and I. That shit fucked me up more than anything, but now having my own kid to raise, there was a small part of me that could see why she did it.
“How are you protecting her? By lying to her?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest.
I shook my head. I wasn’t trying to have her blow my mood by talking about some shit I hadn’t worked out inside my own head first.
“Look, Camille. Just drop the shit, okay? I ain’t tryna hear all that right now.”
“So, when are you trying to hear it? Because let me know and I’ll revisit that shit. Your daughter just called me her mother, and I’m fine with that if we’re going to continue to do whatever it is that we’re doing, but I know there’s going to come a day when she wonders why she doesn’t look like me.”
“She looks like me. That’s all that matters.”
Camille sighed and turned her attention away from me to focus on the road.
“Okay, Blaze. You got it.”
“Oh, so now you mad?”
“I’m not mad, you just get on my fuckin’ nerves.”
“You get on my fuckin’ nerves, too. So, what? And what do you mean by whatever it is that we’re doing? You don’t know what we’re doing?” I asked, as a brief laugh broke past my lips.
“Have we put a title on this? No, we haven’t.”
“I didn’t know you wanted one,” I shrugged honestly.
Camille sighed.
“I didn’t think I needed one at first, but…I don’t know. Angel just threw a wrench in the middle of all this. Plus, if I’m going to be living here now, I think it’s something we ought to at least talk about.”
“Do you want to be my girl, Camille?”
“Are you really asking me or is this just another one of your questions?”
“I’m really asking you, but before you answer, I want you to think on that shit for a few days. I don’t want an answer right now, because if you say yes, I want you to know what you’re saying yes to. You’re not only saying yes to me, but you’re saying yes to that cool ass kid in the backseat who already loves you. You’re saying yes to my bullshit and my baggage, my savage life and my daddy lifestyle. Most importantly, you’ll be screaming yes to this dick.”
Camille licked her lips as she glanced over at me.
“All that, huh?” she said as she flung her head back in laugher.
“Yeah, all that.”
“Well, speaking of sex. I don’t plan on letting you taste this again until we figure all this out.”
“Oh, is that right? What? You think I’m disrespecting you by fuckin’ you without you being my girl or somethin’?” I asked.
“No, it’s not that. I’m just trying to do things a little differently this time. It’s not like I have a plane to catch anymore. I’m here for good now.”
I sighed.
“Well good, because I was about to say I’ll only disrespect you in the bedroom whenever you decide to let me wear that pussy out again.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m going to make you wait so long you beg for it,” she smirked.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that shit.”